Corporate Life Sucks

And more importantly, you might give me swine flu.

I’m just kidding. There’s already more than 2 reasons to not go to work when you’re sick. But now in addition to being unproductive, annoying, unsanitary, and a danger of spreading regular germs around the office, you geniuses* with your ridiculously convoluted sense of company loyalty who insist on going to the office and working all that unpaid overtime with a smile on your face when you’re sick are also going to be spreading around swine flu.

I know you love being in the office coughing all over your coworkers, but you know ..read more

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A lot of companies will tell you that one of the perks of working for them is a “generous PTO package” or some baloney like that. Let me explain: You could have a PTO package that gives you 1,000 hours of PTO per year, but it’s completely worthless if you can’t ever use any of it. Fortunately, there is an easy way to see if your company’s PTO policy is bullshit by answering a simple question:

If you want to use PTO time, do you have to work extra to make up for it?

If the answer to that question ..read more

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We all know popcorn is a delicious snack, but if you’re not sure how long to microwave it for, ask the woman who makes it every afternoon (every office has one!); I’m sure she will be happy to tell you.

But please, do not just guess. Just because your old 1980s microwave at home takes 5 minutes to cook a big bag of popcorn does not mean it’s a good idea to try to cook the small bag you got from the vending machine for 5 minutes in the industrial-strength 1100 watt microwave in the office. Seriously. I’m actually working on ..read more

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