The Worst Job Search Advice Ever

The economy and job market both suck right now and everyone is getting (or has already gotten) laid off, and as a result pretty much everyone is looking for a job right now, too. As a result, a lot of “job search” websites are popping up, some of which are legit, many of which are filled with horrible advice, and a few of which are even designed to take advantage of your situation and screw you over.

Bad Advice 1: You should bypass the internet and physically go to the company’s office to drop off your resume so they can get to know your face.
The truth: Not only is that soliciting, but chances are the office you go to won’t even be the same location that houses their HR department, and the conversation will go like this:

You: “Hi, I’d like to drop off my resume”
Them: “Um, ok. We’re a development branch. You need to talk to HR.”
You: “Ok, where are they?”
Them: “In (some other state). Visit our website and submit your resume online.”

And that’s if you even get someone to talk to that doesn’t give you a giant “wtf face” when you try to give them your resume. Or, they might take your resume and just toss it right after you leave because they don’t care.

Bad Advice #2: Send out your resume to everyone on Craigslist
The truth: Craigslist is a pretty awesome place. BUT, many of the “employment opportunities” on CL are scams. People make fake companies which are usually identifiable by a crappy looking website and no mention of them anywhere else on the entire internet and collect hundreds of resumes and email addresses from people on CL who blindly mail them their resumes, and they sell your info to spammers. I recently saw a job posting on Craigslist from an “established international company who has many Fortune 500 clients,” yet this company had no links anywhere on the entire internet other than the ones on their own pages. How many established international companies do you know who are mentioned exactly zero times on the entire internet? Also, their website was a complete piece of crap full of clipart and generic stock photos of happy-looking business people. How many established international companies do you know of who can’t afford to create a website? Exactly.

Bad Advice #3: While you’re looking for another “real” corporate job, it’s better to take a minimum wage job in the meantime even if it pays less than unemployment.
The truth: Are you serious? So you’re saying that working 40 hours a week and making minimum wage is better than working 0 hours a week and making more than minimum wage? That’s the dumbest and most illogical thing I’ve ever heard. Not only is it financially inefficient, but you’re also wasting 40 hours a week that you could be using to find another job or start your own company. Basically, you’re doing work in order to make less money. If that is really your philosophy, please use the contact button on my page and let me know because I’d like to hire you and pay you less than you’re making now. Actually, on second thought, don’t bother; if that really is your philosophy you’re probably too much of an idiot to work for me, anyway.

4 Replies to “The Worst Job Search Advice Ever”

  1. I work at lowes right now and the pay sucks fucking cock. I make like 3 dollars a year and the pay isn’t worth it’s weight in horse shit. everyone esle expects you to accept the same dog shit pay.

  2. Maybe Jeffery Immelt(spelled wrong) from General Electric, now on the job for the nation’s recovery, can help you out, man. I mean, shit – what, he gave Brazil like one billion dollars just to invent and build shit? I know the feeling Bob — I’ve been in the same rut for seven years now and have not even recovered 1/2 the pay cut I have taken since 2003 —-
    At least your job is hopefully inside and out of the cold unlike mine.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *