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Jun
21st

Do You Give Nicknames to People at Your Office?

Author: Admin | Files under Corporate Life, Coworkers

Look at this list of nicknames.

I was just talking to some former coworkers of mine and we were remembering how, when we all worked together at the same company, we came up with nicknames for all these people that we saw frequently but we didn’t actually know. So we’d see someone in the cafeteria (this job provided catered lunch) do something, and if we wanted to tell the story we’d have to use an agreed-upon nickname since we didn’t actually know the person. The company was huge and not one of those cases where everyone knows everyone else. Anyway, here are some of the names we came up with:

the Librarian – this chick who gave off librarian vibes but looked like she had a freaky side
Model Hair – this middle-aged eastern European woman whose hair always looked like she just finished a photo shoot.
Hitler – self explanatory. I wonder if this guy ever looked in the mirror, though? I mean there’s no way could see himself and not think “gee, I look like Hitler.”
Fanta 1, Fanta 2, Fanta 2-1/2 – these three woman who looked like the Fanta softdrink spokeswomen, the Fantanas.
Super Fanta – a woman who looked like she had undergone a ton of plastic surgery and makeup application to look like a Fantana.
Suitcases – this guy who was a weightlifter and always walked with his arms out to the side, flaring his lats, like he was carrying two invisible suitcases.
That chick who wants to have a kid – there was this woman who was around 28 who gave off really powerful “I wanna have a kid” vibes. Everyone picked up on it, and then someone who actually knew her confirmed it.
Italy – this attractive Italian woman. It’s funny, though, because she wasn’t actually Italian.
Baseball – a guy who carried a baseball around with him and brought it to meetings.

We had a few more but they were inside jokes that wouldn’t make any sense here, even if I explained them.

So does anyone else do this at their job?

5 responses. Wanna say something?

  1. Mark
    Jul 15, 2009 at 10:44:13
    #1

    How about “Asswipe” -The “Company Go getter” thats always around incase the boss is taking a shit and runs out of toilet paper…

  2. Jenn
    Sep 23, 2009 at 10:33:04
    #2

    We give code names to people whose names we know so that they don’t know we’re talking about them. Really helpful when you work in an office w/o cubes or offices.

    One of my favorites was a girl named Cherry who we called Fruit- not very original (I know) but we got a kick out of it.

  3. Anon
    Oct 9, 2009 at 16:38:11
    #3

    Wow. You are most definitely not the only one who does that. At our work we have:

    Hitler-You’re thinking “no way” right? But we also have a guy who looks exactly like Hitler, but acts as if he doesn’t know.

    Roid Rage: His whole life is working out. Not a day goes by that he isn’t caught guzzling some weird protein shake that he found at GNC.

    The Whistler: This dude has an odd nose whistle. He isn’t aware of it, but throughout the day we count out loud every time we hear it. Five! Five today.

    Stripper Sales Girl: This girl chooses to wear 4 in spiked heels to work everyday. Even when she’s not going out to sell. WTF? Can you say masochistic?

    Slingblade: There’s this guy who put on some weight so he just cut the bottom of one uniform shirt and sewed it to the bottom of another to make it bigger. He has a southern drawl so we call him slingblade.

    There are so many more, and sometimes they can be a little on the mean side…but that’s corporate life. You lose all sense of sympathy and shame when you’re trapped in the same office with the same freaks all day.

    To make it fair I gave myself a bad nickname b/c it wouldn’t be fair to exclude my own self.

  4. Mr. Work
    Aug 22, 2011 at 15:32:24
    #4

    Yes me and my co-worker do it too…very funny, well at least for us. Like Jenn it is all in code. 🙂

  5. Also Anonymous
    Aug 8, 2012 at 11:20:27
    #5

    We have Regina George/Cruella (because she’s a Mean Girl with blond hair on top and black underneath). She complains about everyone and during team meetings she misses she sends her complaints via memo. She also likes to tell everyone about her high school age boys and her daily runs vial email (with pictures) and running her mouth in the lunch room. NO ONE CARES!!

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