Going to the bathroom in the corporate world can actually serve two purposes: 1) relieving yourself, and 2) passing time. I think number 1 right there is pretty obvious, so let’s talk about number 2 (no pun intended).
It’s no secret that being at work sucks, but you can’t just get up and leave whenever you feel like it without getting fired, and if you’re being timed on the clock, you may not even be able to get up and take an unscheduled break. But sometimes you just need a break from your micromanaging bosses, your annoying coworkers, your stupid clients, and all the bullshit that you have to deal with on a daily basis. Fortunately, there is a solution: the bathroom break*.
Bathroom breaks are great even if you don’t actually have to go to the bathroom! They provide you with a private, stress-free environment, and no one can tell if you’re sitting on the toilet because you actually have to go, or if you’re just taking a break! You can do whatever you want, including:
– Surf the net on your phone
– Test out that new iPhone game you just downloaded (make sure to turn the sound off, however, lest your cover be spoiled)
– Take a break from the never-ending babble of annoying coworkers
– Hide from annoying managers
– Sit back and relax
– Take a nap (this is an advanced technique that will be examined in a later article)
Look at it this way: if CEOs and other high-level executives can get paid millions of dollars a year to play golf, then there’s nothing that says you shouldn’t be able to take the occasional unscheduled bathroom break to play a golf game on your cell phone. It’s really the same thing. The only difference is your break isn’t costing the company as much money.
As you become more in tune with your surroundings, you may begin to notice a “clicking” sound during your bathroom breaks; indeed, this is the sound of people in the stalls next to you pushing buttons on their cell phones as they surf the net or play a game as well. Congratulations! You are now a member of an exclusive club.
*I am aware of some companies that do not even allow unscheduled bathroom breaks (it’s usually the same type of company where you’re not allowed to call in sick). In the event that you work for one of these types of companies, you should probably just quit.