Your Incomplete Sentences Make You Sound Like an Idiot

I just sent someone an email asking detailed questions and the response I got back was this:

“Not sure. Propose for current state of market.”

Guess what, asshole? I can’t “propose for current state of market” until you answer the fucking questions I just asked you. Do you think I asked them because I was bored and didn’t have anything better to do? Do you think I asked them because surfing the internet finally got boring and I decided I would rather do some work? And speaking of questions, did you mean to ask me one? Because your sentence ended with a period.

And what is this “not sure” shit? Who or what is not sure? I mean, in this case I know the answer is the guy who sent me the email because he’s a moron, but in the future, don’t forget to include the subject of your sentence.

And “propose for current state of market???” Did you mean to ask me what my proposal is but you’re too much of an idiot to formulate a complete sentence? How did you ever pass elementary school?

This drives me nuts.

Do you know how many emails consist entirely of these abbreviated thoughts pretending to be legit sentences?

“Things good. Seeing improvement in stat not sure how long will last.” (I didn’t even know what the fuck this guy was talking about in the first place. That’s all the email said. It didn’t have a subject or even any previous emails quoted below it. And I’m not even sure how that happens because every email client I’ve ever used gives you a warning message if you try to send an email with a blank subject field).

“Not sure. Thinking of the second but it makes good case.” What????

To call these “Pidgin English” would be an insult to Pidgin languages everywhere.

These all came from native English speakers, too. For the most part they can speak ok, but when it’s time to write an email it’s like they instantly drop 30 IQ points.

And if I had a nickel for every time some moron ended their email with “please advice” I would have enough money for me and my entire extended family to retire. Not only does that make you sound like another mindless corporate drone who loves working long hours, but “advice” is a noun. The word you’re looking for is “advise.” At least try to be less of an idiot.

Please advice.