banner You are here because corporate life sucks. You hate your job, you hate your work environment, and you probably hate your coworkers, too.

This site will explore what makes corporate life suck so much, as well as what makes you hate your coworkers. It will also occasionally provide advice on what you can do to make your life a little less miserable. More...
Dec
1st

No, I Don’t Want to Go to Happy Hour

Author: Admin | Files under Corporate Life, Coworkers

I have my own stuff to do. I have to go to the gym. I have to make dinner. I have to go to the grocery store. I have to take a look at my portfolio’s performance. I have to do dishes. I have to catch up on my reading. I have to balance my checkbook. I have to check my email. I have to surf the net. I have to play guitar. I have to watch TV. I have to relax. I have to go to bed.

I don’t want to listen to you complain about your job. I don’t ..read more

Nov
29th

Don’t Lie; This Meeting Isn’t Going to End On Time, Either

Author: Admin | Files under Buzzwords, Corporate Life, Coworkers

Have you ever been to a meeting that ended on time? I haven’t (not including meetings that I run). I should note that if you ever have the privilege of being in a meeting that I am holding, you will be kicked out when the meeting is scheduled to end, if not earlier, because being forced to stay in a meeting that is going longer than expected is the most annoying thing in the world.

It wouldn’t be so bad if you weren’t already overworked, but when you are already going to have to stay late, you don’t need to waste ..read more

Nov
25th

Please, Stop With the Corporate Cheerleading Already

Author: Admin | Files under Coworkers

I love corporate cheerleaders! They provide endless amusement when I’m having a boring day at work. A corporate cheerleader can be anyone, male or female, who goes around the office singing praises of the company. You can’t even stop to ask this person how their day is going without getting an earful about changes to management policy, or new distribution nodes, and how it’s all wonderful or something of that sort.

The place where the corporate cheerleader really shines, however, is in meetings. At my last job, once a year everyone in management would be sent to this “retreat” for a ..read more

Nov
18th

If You Go to Work When You Are Sick, You Should Be Fired

Author: Admin | Files under Coworkers

There are few things worse than going to work while sick. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some people whose jobs are so important that they do need to go to work even when they are sick. But if your job title doesn’t begin with “President” and end with “of the United States of America,” or something of that caliber, you probably are not in that group of people.

People who come to work sick:

a) feel like crap, thus reduce the efficiency of their own work

b) spread germs, thus make other people sick, thus futher reduce the efficiency of the ..read more

Nov
17th

The Only People Who Don’t Mind Staying Late to Work Unpaid Overtime Are Idiots Who Hate Their Families and Their Lives

Author: Admin | Files under Corporate Life, Coworkers

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Nothing pisses me off more than having to stay late and work unpaid overtime (especially when it’s the result of poor decisions by company leadership), but the one thing I’ve never figured out is why everyone in the world doesn’t share that same opinion.

When the frequent announcement was made that we “need to stay late” to finish some project (an announcement that usually came around 4:45pm when you were starting to think about getting ready to go home), you might think that there would be heard a collective groan mixed with varying levels of profanity, but you would be ..read more

Nov
15th

Hawaiian Shirts Don’t Make Work Fun

Author: Admin | Files under Corporate Life, Coworkers

Want an easy way to find out who all the idiots are at your company? Make the following announcement:

Next Monday is Hawaiian Shirt Day!!!

Anyone who gets excited is an idiot. Wearing a Hawaiian shirt doesn’t change anything about your job. It’s like if I told you I was going to punch you in the nose, and you got upset, but then I told you I was going to let you wear a Hawaiian shirt while I punched you in the nose. Would that change anything? Would it make getting punched in the nose fun?

Seriously.


Nov
14th

It’s Too Bad a College Education Doesn’t Teach You How to Use the Bathroom

Author: Admin | Files under Corporate Life, Coworkers

As much as nearly every aspect of corporate life annoys me, there is one thing that never ceases to completely dumbfound me: no one in the corporate world, not even those in the upper echelons of management, knows how to use a toilet without making a complete mess.

At first I thought this might be an isolated event; I thought perhaps it’s just this particular bathroom on this particular floor near my desk. I thought I must have just had bad luck in that the bathroom nearest my desk is the messy one.

Nope!

I realized this was not the case the first ..read more