No, I Don’t Want to Go to Happy Hour

I have my own stuff to do. I have to go to the gym. I have to make dinner. I have to go to the grocery store. I have to take a look at my portfolio’s performance. I have to do dishes. I have to catch up on my reading. I have to balance my checkbook. I have to check my email. I have to surf the net. I have to play guitar. I have to watch TV. I have to relax. I have to go to bed.

I don’t want to listen to you complain about your job. I don’t want to listen to you complain about your spouse. I don’t want to listen to you complain about your financial troubles. I don’t want to listen to you complain about your body. I don’t want to listen to complain about sports.

I have my own stuff to do. After work is my time. Don’t get me wrong; normally I would love to go out after work and delay all the things I have to do just so I can spend some more time with my awesome team as we sit around buying overpriced beer and appetizers and watch everyone put on their happy face as they complain about their job, their spouses, their financial troubles, and their bodies. No really, that stuff is very interesting to me. I think it’s awesome that you used to be able to bench 500lbs in college when you were the all-star quarterback yet now you have trouble walking up a flight of stairs. It’s also enthralling to hear you talk about how you’re upside down on your car loan and your spouse is talking about leaving you because you’re never home anymore since you work 80 hour weeks. I empathize with you. Really. And if I didn’t have my own life to live, I might even want to buy you a beer to comfort you.

And to my managers: this doesn’t mean I’m not a team player; it just means my work day ends when I leave the office. Sorry!

4 Replies to “No, I Don’t Want to Go to Happy Hour”

  1. I don’t mind hanging out with co-workers away from a workplace setting, but I prefer if it’s at a company function like a hockey/baseball game outing or even a company dinner. I’ve never gotten into the “beer after work” thing, since everyone here is more interested in getting home to their families anyway.

  2. After leaving the corporate world for over a month now, I am finally detoxifying from the brainwashing that went on in the last 9 years of my life. I started my own business but I can tell you one thing for sure! If this venture does not work out, I am sure as hell not going back to another corporate dump filled with a bunch of corporate douche bags who talk a bunch of shit and mask the fact that their life evolves around a company that does not give a shit about them! No wonder their lives are so full of bullshit, they are in denial! So one day when they get the boot out the corporate door either trough a layoff or some corporate political game, their wives would have already left them for a plumber who works from 9 to 5 and can fill her emotional/sexual needs because of the impotence brought on by years of stress. Then and only then perhaps they will finally wake the fuck up!

  3. The company picnic is the worst… why would I want to spend a full Saturday with people I see at work 5 days a week. Hey Joe… havent seen you in the last 18 hours… how are you… Buddy

  4. Anybody that “wants” to go to a corporate function should also go to a psychiatrist. If you hear someone say this then cross that person off your list because they are brainwashed. This is the type of person you stay away from.

    One other thing is the Christmas Party. Its good to have one but honestly who wants to go. After work i dont want to be around you and that includes a xmas party.

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