Today Is Not “Bring Your Baby to Work Day”

Why does everyone get so excited when someone brings a baby into the office? It’s like a sudden explosion of maternal instinct hysteria. And it’s always the same:

Someone walks onto the floor and you notice something odd is going on because their gait is different than normal: they’re bouncing ever so slightly with each step.

Then you see the reason: they’re carrying (and simultaneously entertaining) a baby.

You keep it to yourself because you know what events are about to follow…

“It’s a baby!”

Followed by…

“IT’S A BABY!!!”

And there’s always at least one slightly aloof woman who says…

“What? What do you mean there’s a baby? Where?!”

And all of that is invariably followed by a cacophony of “Oh, my God!”s and “Aww!”s.

After that, everybody stands up at their cubicles and stares with absolute fixation at the baby as it makes its rounds to everyone’s cubicle so they can ooh and ahh and coo.

When the baby finally leaves the floor, then you get to have the pleasure of listening to everyone talk about it for the next 30 minutes. “Can you believe it?”

No, I can’t! I’ve never seen a baby before!

The worst part is that this is just another example of people being fake; No one actually thinks babies (besides their own) are cute! It’s true, and you know it.

2 Replies to “Today Is Not “Bring Your Baby to Work Day””

  1. The baby is the center of attention because the baby is probably the only one that does not give a fuck what everyone thinks of it! So it’s the only one in the office with a working brain really… So these followers elect it as their new leader…

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