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Apr
29th

Reason Number 2 Not to Come to Work Sick: You Might Have Swine Flu

Author: Admin | Files under Corporate Life, Coworkers

And more importantly, you might give me swine flu.

I’m just kidding. There’s already more than 2 reasons to not go to work when you’re sick. But now in addition to being unproductive, annoying, unsanitary, and a danger of spreading regular germs around the office, you geniuses* with your ridiculously convoluted sense of company loyalty who insist on going to the office and working all that unpaid overtime with a smile on your face when you’re sick are also going to be spreading around swine flu.

I know you love being in the office coughing all over your coworkers, but you know what?  We don’t want you here, either, because you know what’s cooler than being sick? NOT being sick!

Or, maybe you’ve got the right idea.  Maybe when review time comes around, your boss will say “hey, remember when you came to work with your 104 degree fever?  That was awesome.  You’re a real proactive team player.  I’m gonna recommend you for that promotion!”

Cuz that happens.

But seriously, genius*, think about it:

You love this  company so much.  Why else do you work 20-30 additional hours of unpaid overtime every week?  The company’s survival is your survival!  But sick employees are unproductive, and you coming to work and giving everyone swine flu is going to result in lots of unproductive employees, which is actually going to hurt your beloved company.  In other words, the small amount of work that you actually get done in the office when you’re sick is going to be overshadowed by the decrease in productivity from all the people that you make sick.

Stay. The. Hell. Home.

*sarcasm

2 responses. Wanna say something?

  1. dterrace
    May 5, 2009 at 19:55:19
    #1

    It takes 2 weeks to compile 1.85 hours of pto. I don’t care who gets sick. If I have a strong immune system and yours is weak, survival of the fittest man, I’m going to work so I can have a decent vacation. I don’t cough, I just got a fever, I feel better the next day, if you don’t…too bad. I schlog thru the day, I’ll get better tomorrow.
    If I had 5 sick days a year, that might be ok, but I don’t. Every sick day eats my vacation with my kids. You bet your ass I’m coming in with my cold. Better you sick than lose my time with my kids.Good luck.

  2. DEM
    May 7, 2009 at 20:19:49
    #2

    And don’t you think that if your company’s (and mine for that matter) PTO/sick/vacation policies were a bit more conscientious and considerate of their employee’s physical, emotional and mental health that you wouldn’t have to be put in the situation of choosing between staying home and taking care of your physical health and having the extra time to spend with your family.
    But that’s just it, your company (and mine >< ) DON’T care about any aspect of your health or your family and we all suffer.

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