I have my own stuff to do. I have to go to the gym. I have to make dinner. I have to go to the grocery store. I have to take a look at my portfolio’s performance. I have to do dishes. I have to catch up on my reading. I have to balance my checkbook. I have to check my email. I have to surf the net. I have to play guitar. I have to watch TV. I have to relax. I have to go to bed.
I don’t want to listen to you complain about your job. I don’t ..read more
Have you ever been to a meeting that ended on time? I haven’t (not including meetings that I run). I should note that if you ever have the privilege of being in a meeting that I am holding, you will be kicked out when the meeting is scheduled to end, if not earlier, because being forced to stay in a meeting that is going longer than expected is the most annoying thing in the world.
It wouldn’t be so bad if you weren’t already overworked, but when you are already going to have to stay late, you don’t need to waste ..read more
I was talking to someone the other day who told me that her company doesn’t allow you to use sick days. If you call in sick, it is an unexcused absense, you get written up, and it goes on your record.
That means if you are in the hospital with food poisoning, or if you get in a car accident and are in the operating room having surgery to save your life, or at the orthodontist having your teeth pulled, you are going to be penalized by your employer.
She then went on to say that employees were given PTO (paid time ..read more
I love corporate cheerleaders! They provide endless amusement when I’m having a boring day at work. A corporate cheerleader can be anyone, male or female, who goes around the office singing praises of the company. You can’t even stop to ask this person how their day is going without getting an earful about changes to management policy, or new distribution nodes, and how it’s all wonderful or something of that sort.
The place where the corporate cheerleader really shines, however, is in meetings. At my last job, once a year everyone in management would be sent to this “retreat” for a ..read more
If you are in the job market, be extremely careful if a recruiter or member of HR tries to promote “free lunch” as part of a company’s benefits package. This is a warning sign that you may be about to sign on with a workhorse.
It sounds wonderful at first! “Oh!” you think, “how cool! I won’t have to bring a lunch and/or go out to lunch every day, which will be hugely convenient, and I won’t have to spend money on lunch, which means I’ll have more spending money to waste on frivolous, depreciating liabilities!”
But what you may be missing ..read more
This is a followup article to part I.
The best part about corporate buzzwords is the smug look of self-satisfaction across the faces of the idiots who use them by the dozen. It’s as if every time a buzzword spews forth from their mouths they are so proud of themselves for being cool.
I have been in meetings lasting over two hours where literally nothing gets said or accomplished. Well, I should rephrase that. A lot gets said as far as actual words spoken, but no information is conveyed. And after the meeting, each side walks out with an air of smugness ..read more
Some coworkers and I compiled most of the words in this list while listening to people speak over the course of one month at one of my jobs. After about one month we were ready to kill ourselves so we had to stop.
When using these terms, it is important that you never use their actual English equivalent. For example, never say “talk” or “meet” when you could say “touch base” instead, because people might not understand you. I’m not kidding here. Sometimes it makes communicating difficult. I avoid talking like this whenever possible so as not to sound like a ..read more
Most people will not follow the advice in this article because it precludes living a flashy lifestyle, and most people would rather look like they’re rich than actually increase their net worth.
Please note this article assumes you are making at least $40,000 per year. It’s possible to retire with at least $1 million if you are making less, but doing so requires you to live even more frugally in the process.
Let’s assume you want to retire at or before 65 (preferrably before, because working sucks!). Also assume you don’t even start working until you are 25. So you’ve got 40 ..read more
There are few things worse than going to work while sick. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some people whose jobs are so important that they do need to go to work even when they are sick. But if your job title doesn’t begin with “President” and end with “of the United States of America,” or something of that caliber, you probably are not in that group of people.
People who come to work sick:
a) feel like crap, thus reduce the efficiency of their own work
b) spread germs, thus make other people sick, thus futher reduce the efficiency of the ..read more
Most people are bad with money, but for some reason, most people in the corporate world are even worse with money. I have never met so many people with upper five-figure and lower six-figure salaries who are drowning in debt as I did in the corporate world.
Corporate employees can’t seem to stop spending money. Maybe they need a new BMW to be seen in for 20 seconds in the morning as they park in the parking garage. Maybe they need the all-white $180 designer dress shirt that look identical to other, cheaper brands. Or maybe they need to eat at ..read more
You are here because corporate life sucks. You hate your job, you hate your work environment, and you probably hate your coworkers, too.
